Competing With Two Heads

Words that I hear often as I support counsel women.

The wives say: My Husband Won't Take the Lead

The husbands say: My Wife Won't Follow My experience in my marriage of 40 years, is when I clearly communicate, appreciate, love, and respect my husband, he will do just about anything for me. Him leading is not a problem. We discuss issues together, and he values my input and I value his and even if I don't agree with him at times, he makes the final decision. This takes all the pressure off of me.

There should never be any competition between husbands and wives, you are to complete one another, not compete with one another!

Submission means coming under each others mission, supporting one another!

When I hear women say, "my husband won't lead", it usually means he won't do what they want him to do, when they want him to do it.

In every home there should only be one head, NOT TWO, because two will create a monster.

Many wives have taken it upon themselves to take over the leadership of the home and are now allowing the children to be the boss.

We live in a child-centered culture. Parents will do anything to give their children every experience and opportunity imaginable. Don't get me wrong, as parents we love to see the joy on our children's faces when we are able to give them things they want, but please, please, don't put them in charge of your home. The bible says a child left to himself will bring shame to his mother.

The women say: "Someone has to take charge, he's not going to do anything".

There are some instances where the husband turns the financial end of things over to the wife because she is gifted in this area and he isn't, or other areas where one is naturally better equipped than the other. If you discuss these areas and your husband agrees to loose areas over to you, and you are in agreement, great.

There is power in agreement - Matthew 18:19-20 "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven." ( Please note that this means anything in the will of God, not your own selfish desires).

The danger point comes when the wives take control in their own hands, dishonoring their husband's position in the home & over the family.

In every arena of life you will find that without order and someone in charge there will be chaos and confusion. That's why we have CEO'S, Managers, Chiefs of Police, Inspectors, and Military ranks etc. in place. It is important for everyone to know who is in charge and who makes the final decision.

Read Ephesians 5: 22-28 - Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.......

This is the Biblical instructions for husbands and wives to follow if you want the best for your marriage.

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Selwyn Outreach Centre

2686 Lakefield Road,

Selwyn, Ontario

K9J 6X5