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Infatuation vs. Reality

I love this old saying:

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward."

Most of us relate to the young couples that are "In Love" and are so infatuated with each other, they become blind, only seeing what they want to see in each other. In the early stages of their relationship, they think the person they love has no faults. Reality is that over time they find out this isn't true.

If you aren't yet married and you're seeing things in the other person you don't think you can live with, don't ignore those feeling, as these are warning signs for your protection. However, when it's your relationship with your spouse, kids or parents, it's different. You don't focus on their flaws.

Couples often fall for the lie that their relationships would be better if they could just change a few things in the other person. To be honest with you, your life will be much better if you just accept each other, along with the things that you both do that annoy each other.

Accepting imperfection doesn't mean that you don't confront or talk to each other. It's just that you can't focus every second of the day on each of your imperfections. Disappointments can lead to discord and distance and then emotionally couples shut down and even though they are legally married, they have given up on each other. You may think that the day of passion, joy, and excitement in your marriage ended when the babies came and your life became consumed with the busyness of family duties.

In Revelation 2:4 Jesus says "But I have this complaint against you. You don't love me or each other as you did at first!" Then the Lord immediately tells them two things they must do to correct the problem: Look how far you have fallen from your first love! Turn back to me again and work as you did at first" (2:5). He doesn't tell them to wait for the warm feelings of love to well up again. He commands them to act by recalling their former love for Him and returning to their former habits of devotion to God.

The same principle applies to your relationship with your spouse. Think back to the earlier days of your relationship, what do you remember? How great was your love at that point? What did you love about your spouse? If you have lost the sparkle and intensity of your love for each other, start celebrating the things that you used to enjoy about each other by honoring and respecting one another.



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