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The Blame Game

Why is it that when something goes wrong in our life, we immediately want to blame someone else? I'm glad you asked!

The blame game started from the beginning of time when Adam and Eve chose to disobey God by eating from the only tree they were asked not to eat from, the tree of knowledge of good and evil. This tree represented self-centered independence. We might call it the "I will decide for myself what is right and wrong tree". To refrain from eating of this tree would show Adam and Eve trusted God and believed He ultimately knew what was best for them. In God's wisdom, He gave each of them a free choice, a way out if they wanted it. True relationship requires freedom of choice, yet if we use that freedom for self-centeredness, there are consequences. The tree of life offered them the promise that God's life would sustain their lives - spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

As Eve decides to give place to the thoughts from the serpent and bites into a piece of delicious, sweet fruit and then turns to Adam, who willingly and without hesitation joins her, in an instant their perfect world comes crashing down. Their choice of independence unleashes a completely unexpected consequence: they are now cut off from the one who truly loves them. Now they see they are completely exposed. Because of their fear and shame they run for cover. God gets right to the point and asks the question. "Did you eat from the forbidden tree?" BLAME is Adam's answer to God's question: "The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Notice that he not only blames his wife, but insinuates that God is ultimately to blame for the whole mess. Eve's answer is not much better: "The serpent deceived me." Now the serpent is entirely to blame. Neither of them take responsibility for what happened. They try to deflect, redirect, and avoid the issue, by projecting the blame elsewhere. Blame and anger now replace mutual trust, love and submission.

Fear and Shame Lead to Anger and Blame!

Are we any different from Adam and Eve? In our failure and fear of exposure, do we also run, hide, and try to cover up at times? Many of us distance ourselves from God and others when we fail, because we are afraid of being exposed. Yet we need to do just the opposite. What's beautiful is that we can go to God in the midst of our struggles, even if we feel that we brought them on ourselves. He will not judge or punish you.

The two same choices remain for us today:

First, there is the self determined way: the "I'll decide for myself" way, which tends to look good at the beginning but could end up being disastrous. Secondly there is God's way, which may look ridiculous from a human point of view, but ultimately ends up being the very best way.

Instead of pointing the figure and blaming others, let's take ownership and responsibility for our part and stay connected to the true vine, Christ Jesus!

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