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What To Look For In A Potential Mate

While talking with many single Christian young ladies desiring to find Mr. Right, I've asked them "What qualities are you looking for in a potential mate?" The answers went something like this: "The most important thing to me is that they are spiritual, good looking, have a job, and are fun to be with." As I listened to them, I realized that these are not the issues that cause relationships to break apart.

Couples that are struggling in their relationships don't usually say that religious issues are the problem. They say things like: "He doesn't listen to me, she tries to control me, he makes promises and doesn't follow through, he is condemning and judgmental, she is always angry at me for something I did or didn't do, I can't trust him," and the list goes on and on.

God does not use religious terms and language when He discusses people. He talks about how people treat Him and others, and whether or not their word is their word and if they follow through with what they say.

He looks at their character!

We don't get a lot of training in evaluating character. We tend to look on the outside and not the inside of a person. So we choose people based on outward appearance and then experience the inside of them. We look at religious activity, status and education, talents, humor, and accomplishments. Some people find out later on, being in a real relationship with them, can end up being very empty. 2 Corinthians 6: 14 - The apostle Paul tells us that we should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, which means that you should look for a mate that is born again and has accepted Jesus as their Saviour, however let's go one step further, has this mate made a decision to surrender their life to Christ and make Him the boss of their life? Surrendering our life to Christ means we are willing to give up our way for His way, by allowing the Holy Spirit to work on our hearts to develop Christ's character in and through us. There are many so called Christians, who have an agenda, who may say they are believers in Christ, but have no character whatsoever, and don't intend to make any changes.

What character qualities should you look for in a mate? Are they givers or takers? A person that is appreciative, giving and thankful are keepers.

  • How do they treat their Mother, Father and Family? With respect?

  • Are they dependable? Say what they mean and mean what they say.

  • Do they respect authority?

  • Are they responsible? How do they respond in difficult situations?

  • Do they hold grudges? Are they forgiving?

  • Self Controlled - Are they easily angered or do they respond peacefully?

Ask God for Wisdom. The Bible says in Proverbs 4: 7-8 (For skillful and godly Wisdom is the principal thing.)... Prize Wisdom highly and exalt her, and she will exalt and promote you; she will bring you to honor when you embrace her.

Remember, you are not looking for perfection, because none of us are perfect. However, I would suggest that you look for a mate that has a proven track record of consistent Godly character.

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