Helicopter Parenting

 

Helicopter Parenting Is When You Hover Over Your Children IN EXCESS,

By Over Protecting, Over Controlling & Over Perfecting.

 

This is a comment I heard one young lady make - "The number one worst thing my parents (more so my mother) did that caused me difficulty later on in my life was to never let me feel anything but happy. Everything I did was perfect - I was never disciplined, never spanked, never told "no," never grounded, and never made to do my homework.  There was always excuses for me and blame was placed elsewhere. I lived with unrealistic expectations and perceptions of who I was and eventually, after making numerous wrong choices in my life, I ended up in a depressed state with no purpose for living."
 

"The Friend Trend" - in the too busy lives of today's family, many parents are trying to make up for lost time by being best friends with their kids.  While you are training young children, it is not the time to be their best friend.  Giving our kids whatever they want, pushes them to become complacent with no goals, as well as behaviorally and emotionally out of control.

 

Many of the consequences parents are trying to prevent - unhappiness, struggle, not excelling, working hard, are great teachers for our kids. Failure and challenge teach our kids new skills and most importantly, teaches them that they can handle failure and challenges.

 

Every successful person is someone who failed, yet never regarded himself as a failure.


Letting our children struggle and allowing them to be disappointed, and when they fail, helping them to work through it, will mean letting our children do tasks that they are physically and mentally capable of doing.  (Please use wisdom on what tasks you give to your children and make sure they are age appropriate).

In Grandma and Grandpa's time, misbehavior was viewed as a moral issue of right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable, permitted and not permitted.  They taught accountability, self-control, the consequences of wrong choices, thinking before acting, and the importance of respecting authority.  These are all biblical principles that will work, if we choose to work them.  

Today, society promotes the idea that there really isn't a right or wrong - that values are different for every person.  This is a world view, not a Christian view.  For Christians, the Bible should be the standard by which we measure ourselves.  It is full of wisdom for raising our kids.

Deuteronomy 6: 4-7  Hear, O Israel:  The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

 

Be an involved parent without smothering your kids.

 

"Rules without relationship lead to rebellion."  A good relationship with our kids is the foundation for teaching them anything.

 

It is not always easy for you and me to love our kids as they go through the different growing stages of their life.  But if they feel sure of our unconditional love, then they are going to be more open to accepting our instruction and discipline.

 

Unconditional love sees what our children can become and believes that they will become all that God has planned for them to be.

 

Parenting means sacrifice.  The recipe for their hearts is time.  Do things with your kids and build memories together through shared experiences.  Prepare your children for life, love, work, friendship, loss, and death.

 

"Create Memorable Moments"

 

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